aya The weeks

the weeks fly, I don't feel it though. seems I havn't been blogging since I went home for Spring Festival, but I still can hardly feel the flow of the past weeks.

Things happened weeks ago are like happend just yesterday.

When I was young I feel life was long, a 40-minutes class can be so tormenting -- to stick my ass on the seat for 40 minutes.

Now, thing's are hell different. I dont even feel a day. I found life to be so short that you can always find youself put into a timespace where you think you should still be imagining its happenning months in the future. Relentlessly, a supposed future always arrives faster than I'm ready to be in. hehe, I'm so scared by the fast flowing of time, realizing that if scaled up, my whole life is gonna just pass in a flash, without even sensing that effect.

So how to make 50 years longer? I wish I were back in the childhood, where days drag like years.

but that's never gonna happen again, childhood is for ever gone, so as teenage. 50 years' gonna become shorter and shorter.

The only way to save me, is to keep me away from these thoughts.

To make me busy for life so I don't have time to worry about such helpless things.

actually these days are quite busy. I've been coding and coding and almost mentally paralyzed.

1 thing I recognize more deeply as I 'm soloing the flash part of our project is, sometimes it is really a despair to admit that individual power is pathetic, there are so many games there developed by other people that can cost you a life time to build it alone--or can only build a few of them in a life time, being optimistic.

I wanted to challenge this fact of life, from time to time though. but never succeeded once, always found meself weak, and flawed in the end.